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Got a new post written for no other reason than I'm bored.

Blog Link: caligari87.wordpress.com

Latest Entry: "Just an Update"
caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…


Older Entries:
"Doom fanfic and Cover Art for wounds since healed" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Ninja Assassin" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"New Film Camera" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Gone Shootin' Again" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"It’s official! No longer a temp!" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: The Princess and the Frog" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: (500) Days of Summer" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"First Time Shooter" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Hugh Laurie in Sherlock Holmes?" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Going to Elko Again" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Some Thoughts on MW2-'No Russian'" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Killzone 2 caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Surrogates" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"One Hour in Elko, NV" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Back from Denver and New Job!" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Sherlock Holmes" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Vacation!" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Review: Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Biking to Denver" caligari87.wordpress.com/2010/…
"Bed, Bath, and Beyond Useless" caligari87.wordpress.com/2009/…
"Date Night and a new PS3" caligari87.wordpress.com/2009/…
"Review: A Scanner Darkly" caligari87.wordpress.com/2009/…
"Johari/Nohari Window" caligari87.wordpress.com/2009/…
No, no pics of my bald head. It's starting to grow back, though...

Anyway, I registered a blog about a year ago, and never did anything with it, due to my life being a little hectic. I recently decided to resurrect it and see what happens.

Anywho, the link is caligari87.wordpress.com. No dash, unlike my username here, so make sure to remember that ;) Please visit!
Yes, you read the title correctly. I shaved my head (technically, my wife shaved my head, but meh, semantics).

I just thought I'd let everyone know. Maybe I'll post a picture :D
Just a quick update, folks: I won't be on here as often, because we don't have internet at the new apartment yet, but rest assured that I'm not gone. I'm going to try and find something fast and cheap for DSL here in Utah, if anyone has any suggestions. Comcast is out, BTW.
Well, it's 6:00am here in Utah, and oursunset and I are leaving in 45 minutes to go to the Salt Lake City LDS Temple. By the time most of you read this, I'll be a married man! :D

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support. I wish many of you could be there. Wish us luck!
Cross-Posted at ZDForums and our blog.

As many of you may know, I've been talking for a while about getting married. My girlfriend and I have been planning on tying the knot near the end of October, but what's funny is that we've never officially gotten engaged. Until now :D

Here's the post she wrote on her (soon our) blog detailing the whole night better than I ever could. If you can't stand mushy, look away. Just FYI, I'm Sterling ;)

Last night we went to Olive Garden for dinner down town and had a wonderful time! The food was perfect, and the atmosphere was perfect, and Sterling was perfect! After dinner, we went up to Temple Square to talk a walk, even though it was kind of late in the evening.

We walked all the way around the Temple and strolled up around to the pedestal by the fountains around back of the Church Office Building… you know, the one where everyone gets their photos taken? Anyway, so we sat on the pedestal for at least twenty minutes, just staring at the Temple lit up in the night. It was so beautiful!

While we were sitting there, Sterling asked what things were on our checklist for us to get married. I named off the list to him, but momentarily forgot to add in that "we need to get engaged at some point". When I did remember, I added it in and joked about forgetting a very important step. Sterling suggested that we begin making our way back to the car. I agreed but sat in silence looking at the Temple a while longer. Finally, I stood with Sterling and lead him down the strip of grass. It felt so cool to be walking towards the Temple hand in hand with Sterling.

Mid-way down the grass, Sterling began to shake. I asked him why he was shaking, but he acted as though I hadn't said anything. Then he chuckled to himself and said, "I actually have a question for you." Still puzzled over the shaking, I hesitantly said, "okay?"

He stopped me and turned me to face him. He kissed me on the cheek and smiled. "You know that list of things you just told me?" I nodded, and felt extremely nervous suddenly. "Well, I think we can check one of those off right now."

Right then I knew! He drew a small black box out of his jacket, which had been casually draped over his arm all evening, and sank down onto one knee. Of course, by this point I am covering my mouth with my hands, grinning like a fool, and my heart was racing a million miles an hour. He opened the box and said, "Francais, will you marry me?"

I think that I froze for a millisecond, but then tackled Sterling with a hug because I couldn't form any words! When words finally found my mouth, I said, "YES!" and continued hugging him, with a few intermittent kisses. Sterling and I were both between hyperventilating with rough laughter, and on the verge of crying.

I sat back from Sterling and looked at him, my fiancé. He smiled and said, "Now, be very careful; I dropped the ring!" We then searched in the dark grass for the little black box. I finally found it by my left foot and handed it off to Sterling. He tenderly took my hand in his and slipped off the place-holder ring I had been wearing for a long time and replaced it with the ring he had bought for me.

I was so excited about the whole thing that I didn't even stop to admire the ring, I just hugged him again. As we walked the whole rest of the way back to the car, we were both on cloud nine. I don't think that I have ever been that happy before!


We've also taken engagement photos, which I edited myself. You can find a couple below.
One
Two
Ring (it's a double set)

There you have it :) I've been waiting for this day for what seems like forever, and now it's official. Wish us luck, folks! It's a brave new world ahead.

8-)
So, I've got a few items of business. I got the new job at Convergys, and I've been in training since Monday. It'll be two more weeks of classroom time, and three weeks after that of on-the-job training taking calls, then I'll be on the floor actually working.

I had a near panic attack Monday(?) night, actually. On Sunday, both oursunset and I got our Temple Recommends (for those unfamiliar with the term, we're now allowed inside the LDS temples for ceremonies like proxy baptisms and our marriage). Normally, that's a good thing, but it was on the "things to wait for" list, and now that it's more or less finished, in the words of the movie, "this sh*t just got real".

I realized that it's not a dress rehearsal anymore, and it's actually going to happen. Kinda just struck me weird, and I nearly wrote a third-person journal on here just to cope. Thankfully, my wonderful girlfriend called and talked me down, so I feel a lot more confident about my new job and stuff. I'm taking her to Olive Garden tonight to celebrate (and satisfy her craving for chicken Alfredo).

All in all, things are moving right along. I'll post the official invite on here and a few other places (ZDoom, Facebook) when we get a date set. Wish us well!
  • Listening to: The neighbor kid playing the drums. Badly.
  • Watching: Lakeview Terrace
  • Drinking: Wate- Oh why do I bother?
Fermirotica.

If the average population density of Taylorsville, Utah is 2,075.7/km^2...

And people "get it on" an average of 80 times a year...

And it takes them about 30 minutes...

sqrt(2/(pi * 2,075.7/km^2 * 80/year * 30 minutes)) (google calc)...On average in Taylorsville, someone within 259.25 meters of me is having sex.

I feel a lot better knowing that.

P.S. why do I always do stuff like this late at night when I'm tired?
Just a quick update before I head off to work (correction: shower and change, and then head off to work). I've got a new job, starting September 14th, where I'll be working full-time doing customer service at nearly the same wage I'm getting now. Easily double my income, which means oursunset and I will be able to afford food and rent when we get married in the end of October.

Ah, speaking of which, I don't think I ever made the announcement! :D Yes, I'm getting married, folks! We're not quite sure of the exact date, but it's going to be right around Halloween (sweet...) and everything is going pretty smooth so far. Invitations are (nearly) made, furniture is being bought, announcement photos are taken, apartment is picked out, her dress is bought and getting fitted, my suit is being tailored now, and the finances are finally looking up. There's only one more thing...

"I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. First, I better go in there and propose to the girl."

I know, we're doing this totally bass-akwards, but that's okay. When you've talked about tying the knot for three years running, an actual proposal can get dropped by the wayside for some reason. But don't worry, honey, it'll be very soon. ;)

All that aside, I'll be glad to get a break from work tomorrow.
WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!

I just got my new wireless card today from Amazon, and I am now typing this post from the 700mhz Windows 98 machine in the basement on Firefox 2.0! Yes! Who's a man-and-a-half? I'm a man-and-a-half!

Anywho, I just wanted to announce that. It's still running pretty slow, but the connection is fast enough, and I'm tweaking a few settings. Took some persuading to get the card to work, but after downloading an updated driver from the website, it works like a charm.
  • Listening to: Loud case fans, the computer's still open.
  • Drinking: Monster
Stolen from prdarkfox, who took it from NinjaOfPants. Like said, don't feel obligated to read.

A

- Available: Nope.
- Age: 22 going on 40
- Annoyance: Idiots who need to die.
- Allergic: Seasonal hay fever, but nothing else.
- Animal: Cat.
- Actor: Keanu Reeves

B

- Beer: Never have, never will.
- Birthday/Birthplace: February 23, 1987. Texas.
- Best Friend: Rei-Ryoko
- Body Part on opposite/same sex: Eyes, but breasts come in a close second (hey, I'm a guy).
- Best feeling in the world: Cuddling and non-sexual intimacy (so far).
- Blind or Deaf: Neither. Rather die first.
- Best weather: 32 degrees Fahrenheit, clear.
- Been in Love: A few crushes, but definitely now.
- Been bitched out?: Oooh, yeah. Real life and the Internet.
- Been on stage?: Yes, for a silly lip-sync show
- Believe in yourself?: Not really.
- Believe in life on other planets: Yes, they're just smart enough to avoid us.
- Believe in miracles: Yes. Some firsthand, actually.
- Believe in Magic: No, unless you count otherworldly powers (Ouija boards and such).
- Believe in God: Yes.
- Believe in Satan: Yes.
- Believe in Santa: Damn, I thought this was referencing some obscure ancient pagan religion...oh, wait.
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: It's complicated, but not in the commonly accepted sense.
- Believe in Evolution: Not as the source of life, perhaps as a natural process. Overall, I'm a Creationist.

C

- Car: Hopefully buying soon, a Nissan Altima S.
- Candy: Mmm...Chocolate...
- Cake or pie: Cake.

D

- Day or Night: Either one, depending on my mood.
- Dream vehicle: Changes, but I love cool-looking sports cars.
- Danced: Moderately well, but don't ask me to tango.
- Dance in the rain?: Not yet, but why not?
- Dance in the middle of the street?: Sure.

E

- Eggs: Over Easy.
- Eyes: Hazel.
- Everyone has: An exploitable weakness.
- Ever failed a class?: Never. Of course, I was mostly homeschooled.

F

- First crush: When I was about eight, the girl down the street who kissed me on the cheek.
- Full name: Sterling Parker
- First thoughts waking up: "Nice ceiling..."
- Food: SeeFood, which includes seafood.

G

- Greatest Fear: Pathologically afraid of failure and mistakes.
- Gum: Something bold and fruity.
- Get along with your parents?: Always have.

H

- Hair Colour: Dark brown, nearly black.
- Height: 5'10"
- Happy: Generally, but often battle depression.
- Holidays: Halloween. Screw the happy, I wants blood and zombies.
- How do you want to die: With just enough time to utter a dramatic one-liner, preferably while leaving a crater behind.
- Hate: Disney brats and Barbie bimbos.

J

- Jewelry: A mood ring once, lost it.
- Job: Video Game Designer

K

- Kids: Love the little bundles of screaming terror.
- Kickboxing or karate: I want to create my own martial art.
- Keep a journal?: No. This doesn't count. (QFT, Fox.)

L

- Longest Car Ride: 3 days, to Minnesota, USA from Utah.
- Love: oursunset
- Letter: I love the whole alphabet. Without it, the quick brown fox would never jump(s) over the lazy dog.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Oh, too many times to count.
- Love at first sight: Nope, but pretty close.

M

- Milk flavour: Whole.
- Movie: The Matrix
- Mooned anyone?: Never.
- Marriage: Bring it on!
- Motion sickness?: I pity all who can't deal with car rides.
- McD's or BK: McDonald's, even though the food is objectively disgusting.

N

- Number of Siblings: Three younger brothers.
- Number of Piercings: None. Never much desired it.
- Number: 1337. Shut up.

O

- Overused Phrases: "Theoretically..."
- One wish: Be the person I want to be.
- One phobia: Failure. Not much else really scares me.

P

- Place you'd like to live: Earth. It looks like a fun place.
- Pepsi/Coke: Neutral.

Q

- Quail: "Speed up and you can get that one!"
- Questionnaires: Often pointless but still interesting.

R

- Reason to cry: Loss of a loved one, and not just death. Good movies, too.
- Reality T.V.: TV needs to die the slow painful death it should have suffered in the 90's.
- Radio Station: Anything with good punk/metal.
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Yep.

S

- Song: "Breaking the Habit" - Linkin Park.
- Shoe size: US 10.
- Sushi: Mmm...raw tuna...
- Skipped school: Not unless you count homeschool.
- Slept outside: Sleeping bag on the trampoline, some camping.
- Seen a dead body?: Internet, once watched an autopsy video. Do funerals count?
- Smoked?: No, it's a disgusting habit.
- Skinny dipped?: Once to take a bath at Lake Powell.
- Shower daily?: As often as I can.
- Sing well?: When the radio's up loud and no-one is listening...
- In the shower?: I don't.
- Swear?: Generally not, drop an F-bomb every now and again when the timing's right.
- Stuffed Animals?: And shotguns.
- Single/Group dates: Both.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries the whole way.
- Scientists need to invent: An anti-idiot ray.

T

- Time for bed: Whenever I feel like it.
- Thunderstorms: I love 'em!
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: No.

U

- Unpredictable: Not really, but would like to be.
- Understanding?: I try to be.

V

- Vegetable you hate: Nothing. There's some I like less, though.
- Vegetable you love: Tough to choose...
- Vacation spot: Somewhere green with beautiful scenery and WIFI.

W

- Weakness: Scantily-clad women.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: None of them, really, although Rei-Ryoko an I have a lot in common.
- Worst weather: The Sun tries to kill me whenever it can.
- Walk with a book on your head?: Tried and failed several times.

X

- X-Rays: Oooo!!! Pretty skeleton pictures!

Y

-Year it is now: 2009. Only three more years until we can get the country in order again.
-Yellow: #ffff00.

Z

- Zoo animal: I don't like zoos anymore.
- Zodiac sign: I'm a whinny little Pisces.
- Zombies: YES.
  • Listening to: Crickets outside, the virus scanner.
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: That clear stuff with no taste.
So I finally got around to doing this. Hopefully it'll help me find another good job and meet some good people. Here's my profile, if you're interested, I'd appreciate you getting in touch with me :)

I've also spent the last couple hours rearranging my new basement room to fit my computer equipment and my new clothes hanger. Man, it's nice to have an actual bed again... I nearly couldn't wake up this morning.
  • Listening to: Avathar (LOTR-Inspired Black Metal)
  • Reading: 'Twilight' again, just for the experience
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: That clear stuff with no taste.
I'm moved out of my friend's house now, and in with my aunt and uncle. Hopefully this is a temporary solution, but I have the feeling I'm going to be here a while.

I've also made the determination that I'm pathologically afraid of making mistakes. I'm not sure if this is because of my conditioning growing up, or what, but it's really starting to get me down. I'm afraid to apply for low-end jobs because I'm worried I'll hate it and have to quit, a bad mark on my record, so to speak. I'm afraid to apply for high-end jobs, because I'm worried I'll perform under expectations and get fired, another bad mark. I'm afraid to apply for student aid, because I'm scared that I'll mess it up somehow and either end up owing tons of money or not being able to go to school at all. Then, on top of that, I'm terrified that if I go to school, I'll fail my classes because I never really had any formal schooling or training, and then I won't be able to graduate, get a decent job, or find another school that will accept me. I'm afraid about having children because I'm frightened I won't be a good father and I'll mess my kids up for the rest of their lives. You don't get a do-over with that kind of thing.

On top of that, I feel guilty that my standards for getting married are lower than my girlfriend's. I'm one of those people who tends to feel that people can survive on love, even if it's in a boarding house on an air mattress (like my parents). But, because of the horrible things she's had to live through, I know she can't accept that, so I'm constantly struggling against my desire to just throw caution to the wind.

Then there's my mom, who keeps telling me that I should move back to Denver until I finish some school, and that she "really feels" that I'm not in a good place. Way to be encouraging, mother. And it doesn't help when she talks me into focusing on school so I can eventually get a better job, and my girlfriend says "well, don't complain to me when we're not married." Sorry, honey, I know you're going to read this, but that really hurt when I'm just trying to please everyone on the whole damn planet.

I don't even know what I want anymore. My views on the best course of action changes every time someone makes a good point, and I feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions. I have a couple thousand dollars in hospital and doctors bills to pay, a car that I'm trying to buy from my aunt, reams of financial aid forms to fill out, not to mention the time that school will take away from what I'd be able to work at the full-time job I don't have but need to get, in order to afford the apartment that I have to have if I ever want a snowball's chance in hell of marrying the girl I love.

I hate my life.
So, my job interview didn't go so well. I found that the expected hours would be any of three 8-hour shifts between 11am and midnight. Unfortunately, there are no buses out there, and I live five miles away. I had to back out at the last minute, and for a long time I felt like crap for turning down a great opportunity.

But, what can you do? It wouldn't have worked out at all. So, I'm still looking for a full-time job at $10 an hour, so I can afford an apartment and marry my girlfriend. I'm also looking at buying my aunt and uncle's car, a 2005 Nissan Altima in nearly perfect condition. They're leasing it, but the payments and stuff are murder, so we're going to work out a plan where I can take over and own it (hopefully).
So I've been trying to find a new job, one where I can make good money and work full time. I have an interview today at 1:00pm, which means I need to catch the bus at 11:40am (ouch). Wish me luck! I'm gonna need all the help I can get.
  • Drinking: How many creative names exist for water?
Haven't written anything in a while, but don't worry; I'm not dead yet ;)

Major event so far, our (my roommate and I) apartment plans fell through, and now I need to move out. Kinda inconvenient, but it was going to happen eventually. I'm planning on leeching off my aunt and uncle next; I feel bad about it, but there's really no other place until I can get a better job and increase my income. $11 an hour isn't bad, but it's only part time, so I'm looking at anything full-time for $10.50 or more. Got one job on the table, still waiting to hear back, so wish me luck! *crosses fingers*

My girlfriend and I also had a minor breakup, but things are okay now. I guess fights are a part of every healthy relationship, and it was a stressful time. Aside from that, we celebrated our four-year anniversary last week! I took her out to Olive Garden and we had a great dinner together. It's actually only the second time in our whole relationship that I've taken her to a nice restaurant, but now I don't have any money to get her a birthday present, LOL.

Anywho, that's my life to this point, for all of you who read my journal. Hope you're all well!
  • Listening to: My new MP3 player!
  • Playing: Diablo (first time ever!)
  • Drinking: H2O. And Monster: Khaos :D
My girlfriend, oursunset, has recently started writing a book. It's only been about a month (?), but she's already burning through pages like a bat out of hell. I won't do an injustice by attempting to overview an incomplete book, so I'll just post her own synopsis here:
The Cure Saga
Born with a cure in her blood, Elizabeth Reynar is predestined to change the supernatural world by saving those damned by the vampire virus and the werewolf virus. This is the story of her fall into the hidden world of vampires and werewolves and her struggle to fulfill the prophecy against all opposition.

Cool, huh? Believe me, I've read it. It might have a ways to go before it's publishable, but it's really nifty already. Anywho, she's started a blog site to keep producing news and excerpts from the book until it's finished. Don't worry, I've made her promise to keep constant updates ;)

Her Journal about the new site...
and
Direct Link to her blogspot page.

As she said, please, please visit and comment, and help her maintain the motivation to continue writing and getting this published! This really means a lot to me, so please take the time to look at it. :D Cookies for anyone who does!
  • Drinking: H2O. And Monster: Khaos :D
Oh, wow, the pain.

About a week ago, I developed a cold sore on my lower lip. It grew and hurt, and being a guy, I decided to do the macho thing and lance the infection out with a sewing needle. It worked. Mostly.

I think (in fact I'm pretty sure) I didn't sanitize the needle properly, because over the next few days, my lip swelled up to three times it's normal size, with excruciating pain so bad that I was unintentionally being a huge jerk to my girlfriend and others. Still, we thought it was just a bad cold sore, aggravated by my poking, so we left it alone.

About day four, I realized I was freezing cold in the middle of a heated house, which never happens, and I wondered "Do I have a fever?" and after watching medical dramas like House MD, I knew that fever = infection = bad. So, after a visit to my grandparents, we decided that I should go to the ER.

At the ER, we were forced to wait for hours before we finally got to see the doctor. They did an ultrasound on my lip (which was so painful I cried), and agreed it was a pocket of pus. Oddly enough, neither my attending or the resident had seen a lip abscess in 15 years. Go figure. So, they shot me full of Novocaine. Oh, the sweet relief! I had to just bask in the "ahhhhh...that feels gooooood..."

Afterwords, they sliced me open and drained the pus and blood that had been collecting for four days (it was cool because I was still awake) and gave me Augmentin and Percocet. The swelling has nearly gone away, and there's hardly any pain left, but there's one thing that bugs me:

I still have my cold sore.
  • Watching: Silence of the Lambs (wow)
  • Drinking: Water? Yes, water.
Hello everybody! :D It's nearly Easter (only a few more days to go) and I felt like I should share something. On the first Saturday and Sunday in April, my church has a large "General Conference" where our religious leaders speak on various topics over the course of two days. I was able to watch from the comfort of my own home, thanks to local broadcasting stations.

On Sunday morning, Jeffery Holland, one of our apostles, gave a stirring and heartfelt Easter message for the world, which I would like to share. This message is mostly non-denominational, so there's no need to fear being hit over the head with "Mormonism".

broadcast.lds.org/genconf/2009… to the MP3 file, you can either stream or download it. The sermon is 18 minutes long, roughly. I hope you enjoy it; it certainly made me reconsider the Savior's mission of redemption.

Of course, I'm not trying to push anything here, so I hope no one gets offended; This just meant a lot to me, and I wanted to share :)
  • Drinking: Water, what else?
Just got back from the Hollywood Undead CD signing. I got the back of the CD insert signed, as well as a complimentary signed bandana :D Cool cool stuff; I wasn't even sure if I could get in, but providence smiled upon me.

The sad part is, I don't know if I'll ever even listen to the music. When I first heard of Linkin Park, I bought Meteora after only having listening to "Numb" and "Faint", but I ended up being pleasantly surprised by the music, and now it's one of my favorite bands. So, having only heard "Young" and "Undead", I bought Hollywood Undead's Swan Songs, but the experience didn't repeat itself.

I had expected something between maybe Fort Minor and Rage Against the Machine, but what I got was more along the lines of 50 Cent, Ludacris, or Jay-Z (or any of those other gangsta rappers). Almost every track on the CD was a club song, and a raunchy club song at that. Hardly a verse went by that I wasn't forced to listen to MC Charlie Scene telling a whore to "shake that ass" or "pop a 40". There were only two songs (by my count) that didn't include the words "bitch", "shit" or "[mother]fucker", and only three more on top of those that I might listen to despite the cursing. There wasn't even much "rock" in the "rap-rock" mix.

It's too bad, really, because the band has some decent talent, too. The songs musically sound interesting (aside from being basic club beats), the variation of vocalists is cool, and they've got a nifty thing going on with the masks and such. Unfortunately, it doesn't move much beyond that. Still, I got some swag and a signed CD, so I can't complain. :) I don't regret the purchase (always a risk), or the potential widening of my musical horizons, I just regret that the band didn't take a slightly more noble road.
  • Listening to: Less Than Jake (good ska :) )
  • Drinking: Water. All the time.